Sunday, December 27, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Chinese Funnies
樹多必有枯枝，人多必有白癡。
君子報仇，三年不晚。
小人報仇，一天到晚。
帥有個屁用！到頭來還不是被卒吃掉！
騎白馬的不一定 是王子，可能是唐僧；
帶翅膀的不一定是天使，也可能是「鳥人」。
就算是 Believe 中間還是有個 lie 。
就算是 Friend 最後還是會有個 end
樹不要皮，必死無疑。
人不要臉，天下無敵。
人生，不過比當歸長一點。
懷才 就像 懷孕， 時間久了才能讓人看出來。
客戶是神，因為客戶不是人。
青春就像衛生 紙。看著挺多的，用著用著就不夠了。
幸福離我們很近，但我們都忘了靠近。
能者多勞，疲勞的勞！
男人過了五十歲 只剩下一張嘴;
過了六十歲就只有兩個地方會變硬……後頸部的筋脈和不會喊痛的肝。
福利不是問題， 問題是沒福利。
錢不是問題，問題是沒錢。
今日事今日畢， 過了今日就不必。
皮夾裡的發票永遠比鈔票多。
既然上了賊船，就要做個成功的海盜。
我不是隨便的人，但我隨便起來不是人。
1、隔壁那小子终于发誓要减肥了——毕业招聘会上，有人对他说了句：“哥们，让一下，你挡着我的手机信号了。”
2、雷锋做了好事不留名，但是每一件事情都记到日记里面。
4、逃课太多，昨天想去上课，见到教授，教授惊讶地说，这么长时间不见，长这么大了。
5、我左青龙，右白虎，肩膀纹个米老鼠。
6、每当我错过一个女孩，我就在地上放一块砖，于是便有了长城。
7、鸳鸯戏水，都他妈淹死；比翼双飞，都他妈摔死。
8、纯，属虚构，乱，是佳人。
9、幸福就是痒的时候挠一下，不幸就是痒了但挠不着，更不幸的是，很久以来灵魂和肉体都感觉不到那种蠢蠢欲动的痒了。
10、我虽然做不了有钱人的后代，但我一定要做有钱人的祖宗。
11、天没降大任于我，照样苦我心智，劳我筋骨。
12、谁，执我之手，敛我半世癫狂；谁，吻我之眸，遮我半世流离。
13、众里寻她千百度，蓦然回首，那人依旧对我不屑一顾。
14、念了十几年书，想起来还是幼儿园比较好混。
15、什么是幸福？幸福就是猫吃鱼，狗吃肉，奥特曼打小怪兽。
16、阁下莫非就是当年华山论剑武工独步天下罕有其匹号称一朵梨花压海棠的少林寺智障大师收养的小沙弥低能的爱犬旺财踩扁的蟑螂小强曾滚过的一个粪球？
17、短篇小说我爱你母亲的上半部分，今天就播送到这里，明天同一时间请继续欣赏，我爱你母亲的下半部分……
18、地铁上的广告：挤吗？买辆车吧！出租车上的广告：堵吗？坐地铁吧！
19、我接到一个手机短信，动物园有只猴子奇丑无比，人见人吐，有一天我去了我吐了，有一天你去了，猴子吐了。
20、说金钱是罪恶，都在捞；说美女是祸水，都想要；说高处不胜寒，都在爬；说烟酒伤身体，都不戒；说天堂最美好，都不去！
21、强烈抗议广告时间插播电视剧！
22、谢谢你，谢你大爷，谢你全家，谢你祖宗十八代。（见过这样感谢别人的吗？）
23、名花虽有主，我来松松土！
24、对不起！我已经死了！不过谢谢你来看我！今天晚上12点我也去看你！
25、我喝酒是想把痛苦溺死，但这该死的痛苦却学会了游泳。
26、数据显示，2008年中国男性占全国总人口的52%，女性占43%。 （天涯-柴哥的经典作，太他妈强悍了）
27、你想发财吗？你想交桃花运吗？你想当官吗？你想一夜成名吗？你想永葆青春吗？—-不要瞎想了，好好学习吧！
28、傻子偷乞丐的钱包，被瞎子看到了，哑巴大吼一声，把聋子吓了一跳，驼子挺身而出，瘸子飞起一脚，通辑犯要拉他去公安局，麻子说，看我的面子算了。
29、孤单是一个人的狂欢，狂欢是一群人的孤单
30、一定要糊涂，不要追求真理…真理是婊子!
31、做梦梦见吃意大利面，早上醒来发现鞋带没了！
32、爱人是路，朋友是树，人生只有一条路，一条路上多棵树，有钱的时候别迷路，缺钱的时候靠靠树，幸福的时候莫忘路，休息的时候浇浇树。
33、铁杵能磨成针，但木杵只能磨成牙签，材料不对，再努力也没用。
34、留了青山在，还是没柴烧。
36、天天吃稀饭，不甘心，昨天去菜市场绕了一圈，我想我还是继续吃稀饭吧。
37、我的原则是：人不犯我，我不犯人；人若犯我，我就生气！
38、我慢慢发现，人才是妖精！有些妖精吃人，但人什么都吃，逮着一只妖精没准也能烧烤了！
39、听君一席话，圣斗士念书。
41、地理老师：如果地球不转了，我们的世界将会如何？小B同学：就算地球不转了，我们还是要围着以胡主席为中心的党中央继续转
42、你看，人世间总有那么多的事情让你伤感：阴晴圆缺，悲欢离合，阳痿早泄。
44、炮轰的脑袋还梳个雷劈的逢。
45、爱是一种奢侈品。如同巴黎橱窗里的狐皮大衣，那么眩目、那么迷人，可是上面的标价会让人清醒过来。爱亦是奢侈品，只能远远的看着，别幻想或触摸它因为那需要合适的时间、合适的人相遇在合适的地点，缺一不可。
46、出问题先从自己身上找原因，别一便秘就怪地球没引力。
47、虽然我长的不是很帅，但小时候也有人夸我左边鼻孔很偶像派。
48、老规劝：闺女，要适当吃一点才有劲减肥啊。
49、春天是感冒和感情高发的季节。有人不小心感冒了，有人不小心恋爱了，我属于前者。
50、我当年也是个痴情的种子，结果下了场雨……淹死了。
51、红杏不出墙，坚决拽出来。
52、我允许你走进我的世界，但绝不允许你在我的世界里走来走去。
53、就算我是一只癞蛤蟆，我也坚决不娶母癞蛤蟆。
55、钱可以买房子但买不到家，可以买婚姻但买不到爱情，可以买钟表但买不到时间，钱不是一切，反而是痛苦的根源。把你的钱给我，让我一个人承担痛苦吧！
56、男孩穷着养，不然不晓得奋斗：女孩富着养，不然人家一块蛋糕就哄走了。
57、年轻的时候，我们常常冲着镜子做鬼脸；年老的时候，镜子算是扯平了。
58、我以后生个儿子名字要叫“好帅”，那别人看到我就会说:“好帅的爸爸！”
59、鱼说：我时时刻刻把眼睁开是为了在你身边不舍离开。水说：我终日流淌不知疲倦是为了围绕你，好好把你抱紧。锅说：都快熟了还这么多废话。。
60、幸福就是：我饿了，看见别人手里拿个肉包子，他就比我幸福；我冷了，看见别人穿了一件厚棉袄，他就比我幸福；我想上茅房，就一个坑，你蹲那儿了，你就比我幸福。
61、每个人至少拥有一个梦想，有一个理由去坚强。
62、5岁的女儿让老爸帮她做某事。老爸：“爸爸很累啦，你夸我两句吧，你夸我两句我就又有劲了。” 女儿：“老郑！”老爸：“哎！” 女儿：“你家妞妞长得可真漂亮啊……”
64、心若没有栖息的地方，到哪里都是在流浪！
65、大脑是最高贵的器官–因为是大脑告诉你的。
67、诸葛亮出山前也没带过兵啊，你们凭啥要我有工作经验！！！
68、工作的最高境界就是看着别人上班，领着别人的工资。
69、小时候不学习，妈妈说：“长大后让你嫁给卖猪肉的王老五。”现在我教育女儿： “好好学习，长大后才能嫁给卖猪肉的王老五。”
70、活了二十多年，没能为祖国、为人民做点什么，每思及此，伤心欲绝。
71、快乐？快还能感觉到乐？！
73、妈妈说人生最好不要错过两样东西：最后一班回家的车和一个深爱你的人。
74、80后的重要任务就是制造08后。
75、人生没有彩排，每天都是直播，不仅收视率低，而且工资不高。
76、前途是光明的，道路是没有的。
77、谁说天下乌鸦一般黑？其实一个更比一个黑！
79、好想来一次安静的认真的努力的唐吉坷德式的单恋……
80、要不是为挣钱，脸要来做什么…
81、吃不到天鹅～我还不能吃只鸭子么～
82、长得像坨屎也就算了，为什么非要做一坨屎?
85、每天早上起来大吼一声：“操TMD的小日本。”这样既有益身体健康，又培养了爱国主义道德情操！
90、小姐的胡须长得如此委婉，想必是位大家闺秀咯！
91、你爹娘用那10分钟来散步多好啊!
92、工作好有意思耶! 尤其是看着别人工作…
93、你被打胎后是怎么从垃圾桶里逃出来的?
95、爱国爱家爱师妹，防贼防盗防师兄～
96、我真的不愿意用脚趾头鄙视你。但兄弟，是你逼我这么做的。
97、人生最残酷的地方是人只能年轻一次。
99、大学的爱情纯真在于能够共同吃方便面，能够谦让着喝汤。
100、大哥…我对灯发誓…我真抽了…
101、有一天有个婆婆坐车…坐到中途婆婆不认识路了…婆婆用棍子打司机屁股说：这是哪？司机说：这是我屁股…
102、人家有的是背景儿，我有的只是背影儿。
103、娃娃问妈：“用ABCDEFG怎么造句？”妈：“A呀！这B孩子C家的呀？光着个脚站在D上，EF也不穿，还露着小GG…”
104、众里寻他千百度，抬头一看，他在天上飞…鸟人一个！
105、100年后中国牛B了，一帮没文化的美国人在抱怨中国“巨硬”公司开发的软件英文版发行太慢，以至于他们不得不使用非正式的英化版本。而且部分软件对英文的支持并不好。
106、这年头猪都涨价，还要我降价!?
107、上班就是要发扬死猪不怕开水烫的精神!
108、你们以后再这样，就别怪我翻脸不是人了！
109、想干吗？就干吗！
110、旺财，快来看啊，还有连你都不如的人类咧 !
111．当下属的时候自己当自己是龟孙子，当领导的时候别人当你是龟儿子。从孙子当到儿子，这个王八蛋真升职了。
112、为什么要有高考？我想知道教育部部长，他高考考多少分？
113、偷了我钱包的小偷翻开只看到五块钱潸然泪下感叹：“都不容易啊！”。
114、你有什么不开心的事？说出来让大家开心一下。
115、上惯了天涯：十几个朋友聚餐，刚上二楼楼梯口，见一男子扶着一孕妇下楼，走在前头的哥们赶紧往旁边一让，回头就是一句：“楼下保持队形！”
116、红豆不长南国，长我脸上了，真相思！
117、我坐在一块一亿五千万年的石头上，发了一个下午的呆…
118、我那么漂亮，我不能死啊~~~~~
119、左边脑袋是面粉，右边脑袋是水，一想问题，就满脑袋糨糊！
君子報仇，三年不晚。
小人報仇，一天到晚。
帥有個屁用！到頭來還不是被卒吃掉！
騎白馬的不一定 是王子，可能是唐僧；
帶翅膀的不一定是天使，也可能是「鳥人」。
就算是 Believe 中間還是有個 lie 。
就算是 Friend 最後還是會有個 end
樹不要皮，必死無疑。
人不要臉，天下無敵。
人生，不過比當歸長一點。
懷才 就像 懷孕， 時間久了才能讓人看出來。
客戶是神，因為客戶不是人。
青春就像衛生 紙。看著挺多的，用著用著就不夠了。
幸福離我們很近，但我們都忘了靠近。
能者多勞，疲勞的勞！
男人過了五十歲 只剩下一張嘴;
過了六十歲就只有兩個地方會變硬……後頸部的筋脈和不會喊痛的肝。
福利不是問題， 問題是沒福利。
錢不是問題，問題是沒錢。
今日事今日畢， 過了今日就不必。
皮夾裡的發票永遠比鈔票多。
既然上了賊船，就要做個成功的海盜。
我不是隨便的人，但我隨便起來不是人。
1、隔壁那小子终于发誓要减肥了——毕业招聘会上，有人对他说了句：“哥们，让一下，你挡着我的手机信号了。”
2、雷锋做了好事不留名，但是每一件事情都记到日记里面。
4、逃课太多，昨天想去上课，见到教授，教授惊讶地说，这么长时间不见，长这么大了。
5、我左青龙，右白虎，肩膀纹个米老鼠。
6、每当我错过一个女孩，我就在地上放一块砖，于是便有了长城。
7、鸳鸯戏水，都他妈淹死；比翼双飞，都他妈摔死。
8、纯，属虚构，乱，是佳人。
9、幸福就是痒的时候挠一下，不幸就是痒了但挠不着，更不幸的是，很久以来灵魂和肉体都感觉不到那种蠢蠢欲动的痒了。
10、我虽然做不了有钱人的后代，但我一定要做有钱人的祖宗。
11、天没降大任于我，照样苦我心智，劳我筋骨。
12、谁，执我之手，敛我半世癫狂；谁，吻我之眸，遮我半世流离。
13、众里寻她千百度，蓦然回首，那人依旧对我不屑一顾。
14、念了十几年书，想起来还是幼儿园比较好混。
15、什么是幸福？幸福就是猫吃鱼，狗吃肉，奥特曼打小怪兽。
16、阁下莫非就是当年华山论剑武工独步天下罕有其匹号称一朵梨花压海棠的少林寺智障大师收养的小沙弥低能的爱犬旺财踩扁的蟑螂小强曾滚过的一个粪球？
17、短篇小说我爱你母亲的上半部分，今天就播送到这里，明天同一时间请继续欣赏，我爱你母亲的下半部分……
18、地铁上的广告：挤吗？买辆车吧！出租车上的广告：堵吗？坐地铁吧！
19、我接到一个手机短信，动物园有只猴子奇丑无比，人见人吐，有一天我去了我吐了，有一天你去了，猴子吐了。
20、说金钱是罪恶，都在捞；说美女是祸水，都想要；说高处不胜寒，都在爬；说烟酒伤身体，都不戒；说天堂最美好，都不去！
21、强烈抗议广告时间插播电视剧！
22、谢谢你，谢你大爷，谢你全家，谢你祖宗十八代。（见过这样感谢别人的吗？）
23、名花虽有主，我来松松土！
24、对不起！我已经死了！不过谢谢你来看我！今天晚上12点我也去看你！
25、我喝酒是想把痛苦溺死，但这该死的痛苦却学会了游泳。
26、数据显示，2008年中国男性占全国总人口的52%，女性占43%。 （天涯-柴哥的经典作，太他妈强悍了）
27、你想发财吗？你想交桃花运吗？你想当官吗？你想一夜成名吗？你想永葆青春吗？—-不要瞎想了，好好学习吧！
28、傻子偷乞丐的钱包，被瞎子看到了，哑巴大吼一声，把聋子吓了一跳，驼子挺身而出，瘸子飞起一脚，通辑犯要拉他去公安局，麻子说，看我的面子算了。
29、孤单是一个人的狂欢，狂欢是一群人的孤单
30、一定要糊涂，不要追求真理…真理是婊子!
31、做梦梦见吃意大利面，早上醒来发现鞋带没了！
32、爱人是路，朋友是树，人生只有一条路，一条路上多棵树，有钱的时候别迷路，缺钱的时候靠靠树，幸福的时候莫忘路，休息的时候浇浇树。
33、铁杵能磨成针，但木杵只能磨成牙签，材料不对，再努力也没用。
34、留了青山在，还是没柴烧。
36、天天吃稀饭，不甘心，昨天去菜市场绕了一圈，我想我还是继续吃稀饭吧。
37、我的原则是：人不犯我，我不犯人；人若犯我，我就生气！
38、我慢慢发现，人才是妖精！有些妖精吃人，但人什么都吃，逮着一只妖精没准也能烧烤了！
39、听君一席话，圣斗士念书。
41、地理老师：如果地球不转了，我们的世界将会如何？小B同学：就算地球不转了，我们还是要围着以胡主席为中心的党中央继续转
42、你看，人世间总有那么多的事情让你伤感：阴晴圆缺，悲欢离合，阳痿早泄。
44、炮轰的脑袋还梳个雷劈的逢。
45、爱是一种奢侈品。如同巴黎橱窗里的狐皮大衣，那么眩目、那么迷人，可是上面的标价会让人清醒过来。爱亦是奢侈品，只能远远的看着，别幻想或触摸它因为那需要合适的时间、合适的人相遇在合适的地点，缺一不可。
46、出问题先从自己身上找原因，别一便秘就怪地球没引力。
47、虽然我长的不是很帅，但小时候也有人夸我左边鼻孔很偶像派。
48、老规劝：闺女，要适当吃一点才有劲减肥啊。
49、春天是感冒和感情高发的季节。有人不小心感冒了，有人不小心恋爱了，我属于前者。
50、我当年也是个痴情的种子，结果下了场雨……淹死了。
51、红杏不出墙，坚决拽出来。
52、我允许你走进我的世界，但绝不允许你在我的世界里走来走去。
53、就算我是一只癞蛤蟆，我也坚决不娶母癞蛤蟆。
55、钱可以买房子但买不到家，可以买婚姻但买不到爱情，可以买钟表但买不到时间，钱不是一切，反而是痛苦的根源。把你的钱给我，让我一个人承担痛苦吧！
56、男孩穷着养，不然不晓得奋斗：女孩富着养，不然人家一块蛋糕就哄走了。
57、年轻的时候，我们常常冲着镜子做鬼脸；年老的时候，镜子算是扯平了。
58、我以后生个儿子名字要叫“好帅”，那别人看到我就会说:“好帅的爸爸！”
59、鱼说：我时时刻刻把眼睁开是为了在你身边不舍离开。水说：我终日流淌不知疲倦是为了围绕你，好好把你抱紧。锅说：都快熟了还这么多废话。。
60、幸福就是：我饿了，看见别人手里拿个肉包子，他就比我幸福；我冷了，看见别人穿了一件厚棉袄，他就比我幸福；我想上茅房，就一个坑，你蹲那儿了，你就比我幸福。
61、每个人至少拥有一个梦想，有一个理由去坚强。
62、5岁的女儿让老爸帮她做某事。老爸：“爸爸很累啦，你夸我两句吧，你夸我两句我就又有劲了。” 女儿：“老郑！”老爸：“哎！” 女儿：“你家妞妞长得可真漂亮啊……”
64、心若没有栖息的地方，到哪里都是在流浪！
65、大脑是最高贵的器官–因为是大脑告诉你的。
67、诸葛亮出山前也没带过兵啊，你们凭啥要我有工作经验！！！
68、工作的最高境界就是看着别人上班，领着别人的工资。
69、小时候不学习，妈妈说：“长大后让你嫁给卖猪肉的王老五。”现在我教育女儿： “好好学习，长大后才能嫁给卖猪肉的王老五。”
70、活了二十多年，没能为祖国、为人民做点什么，每思及此，伤心欲绝。
71、快乐？快还能感觉到乐？！
73、妈妈说人生最好不要错过两样东西：最后一班回家的车和一个深爱你的人。
74、80后的重要任务就是制造08后。
75、人生没有彩排，每天都是直播，不仅收视率低，而且工资不高。
76、前途是光明的，道路是没有的。
77、谁说天下乌鸦一般黑？其实一个更比一个黑！
79、好想来一次安静的认真的努力的唐吉坷德式的单恋……
80、要不是为挣钱，脸要来做什么…
81、吃不到天鹅～我还不能吃只鸭子么～
82、长得像坨屎也就算了，为什么非要做一坨屎?
85、每天早上起来大吼一声：“操TMD的小日本。”这样既有益身体健康，又培养了爱国主义道德情操！
90、小姐的胡须长得如此委婉，想必是位大家闺秀咯！
91、你爹娘用那10分钟来散步多好啊!
92、工作好有意思耶! 尤其是看着别人工作…
93、你被打胎后是怎么从垃圾桶里逃出来的?
95、爱国爱家爱师妹，防贼防盗防师兄～
96、我真的不愿意用脚趾头鄙视你。但兄弟，是你逼我这么做的。
97、人生最残酷的地方是人只能年轻一次。
99、大学的爱情纯真在于能够共同吃方便面，能够谦让着喝汤。
100、大哥…我对灯发誓…我真抽了…
101、有一天有个婆婆坐车…坐到中途婆婆不认识路了…婆婆用棍子打司机屁股说：这是哪？司机说：这是我屁股…
102、人家有的是背景儿，我有的只是背影儿。
103、娃娃问妈：“用ABCDEFG怎么造句？”妈：“A呀！这B孩子C家的呀？光着个脚站在D上，EF也不穿，还露着小GG…”
104、众里寻他千百度，抬头一看，他在天上飞…鸟人一个！
105、100年后中国牛B了，一帮没文化的美国人在抱怨中国“巨硬”公司开发的软件英文版发行太慢，以至于他们不得不使用非正式的英化版本。而且部分软件对英文的支持并不好。
106、这年头猪都涨价，还要我降价!?
107、上班就是要发扬死猪不怕开水烫的精神!
108、你们以后再这样，就别怪我翻脸不是人了！
109、想干吗？就干吗！
110、旺财，快来看啊，还有连你都不如的人类咧 !
111．当下属的时候自己当自己是龟孙子，当领导的时候别人当你是龟儿子。从孙子当到儿子，这个王八蛋真升职了。
112、为什么要有高考？我想知道教育部部长，他高考考多少分？
113、偷了我钱包的小偷翻开只看到五块钱潸然泪下感叹：“都不容易啊！”。
114、你有什么不开心的事？说出来让大家开心一下。
115、上惯了天涯：十几个朋友聚餐，刚上二楼楼梯口，见一男子扶着一孕妇下楼，走在前头的哥们赶紧往旁边一让，回头就是一句：“楼下保持队形！”
116、红豆不长南国，长我脸上了，真相思！
117、我坐在一块一亿五千万年的石头上，发了一个下午的呆…
118、我那么漂亮，我不能死啊~~~~~
119、左边脑袋是面粉，右边脑袋是水，一想问题，就满脑袋糨糊！
Monday, October 26, 2009
A random quote from the Internet...
"To see someone who enjoy reading in cafe, share the same yearning for cold england with me, walk in parallel with me at the other end of the word, is so real to me. I want to know you, if I know you, then I don't care if I don't know everybody."
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Okaeri by Ayaka
おかえり sweet home
帰る場所 愛をありがとう
また平気なフリをして
悲しみの色を塗りつぶして 笑ってしまうんです
信じることの大切さ わかってるのに
いざという時 疑ってしまうんです
空っぽの体 流れる時に
浮いてしまいそうになるけど
あなたのこと 抱きしめたい
このキモチが突き動かすの
おかえり I'm home
一言で満たされる心
おかえり sweet home
帰る場所 愛をありがとう
sweet home
自分のことばかりを考える大人はズルイんだと
思っていたんです
でも必死で変えることを
叫んでる人もいるんだと やっと知ったんです
当り前の幸せなんか この世界に一つもない
あなたのため そう思えた
このキモチが突き動かすの
おかえり I'm home
スピードが加速してく毎日
おかえり sweet home
変わらない ずっとある景色
sweet home
探して なくした
心の傷が
立ち向かう 強さに変われたのは
「おかえり」があったから
おかえり I'm home
一言で満たされる心
おかえり sweet home
帰る場所 愛をありがとう
sweet home
おかえり I'm home
大丈夫 あなたがいるから
おかえり sweet home
待っててね もうすぐ着くから
sweet home
帰る場所 愛をありがとう
また平気なフリをして
悲しみの色を塗りつぶして 笑ってしまうんです
信じることの大切さ わかってるのに
いざという時 疑ってしまうんです
空っぽの体 流れる時に
浮いてしまいそうになるけど
あなたのこと 抱きしめたい
このキモチが突き動かすの
おかえり I'm home
一言で満たされる心
おかえり sweet home
帰る場所 愛をありがとう
sweet home
自分のことばかりを考える大人はズルイんだと
思っていたんです
でも必死で変えることを
叫んでる人もいるんだと やっと知ったんです
当り前の幸せなんか この世界に一つもない
あなたのため そう思えた
このキモチが突き動かすの
おかえり I'm home
スピードが加速してく毎日
おかえり sweet home
変わらない ずっとある景色
sweet home
探して なくした
心の傷が
立ち向かう 強さに変われたのは
「おかえり」があったから
おかえり I'm home
一言で満たされる心
おかえり sweet home
帰る場所 愛をありがとう
sweet home
おかえり I'm home
大丈夫 あなたがいるから
おかえり sweet home
待っててね もうすぐ着くから
sweet home
Friday, October 23, 2009
I want to.....
I don't understand people. For everything that has a plan, the only factor that you can't take for granted is the human factor. While we can think that complexity is what makes us human, is that really so? Why do we want to make it so hard for everyone else around us? Is the idea of complexity such a fascination for people, that we strive so hard to achieve it to hide our insecurity, of lettings others know what we really feel and think. Or are some of us really sadistic and just want to make lives difficult for others.
I know I think too much at times. Like now. But I can't help but to wonder. Wonder what on earth are people thinking. Or is it that I care too much? So much emotions that I have exposed myself to any possible hurt.
I want to be simple. I want to know. I want to care. Is that so hard?
I know I think too much at times. Like now. But I can't help but to wonder. Wonder what on earth are people thinking. Or is it that I care too much? So much emotions that I have exposed myself to any possible hurt.
I want to be simple. I want to know. I want to care. Is that so hard?
Friday, October 2, 2009
Perhaps its time for a change.....
For a long while I realized I haven't had someone close to my heart. I don't feel all that cold and lonely but I think it may get to me eventually. This probably may not be the way that I want to live my life. Maybe its really time to open up a little....
Thursday, September 24, 2009
On MMOs...
Yesterday I was playing this new MMO game Aion Online, which was pretty decent. In the game, one of my friends asked me if I wanted to join this aussie guild which was recruiting, in which I replied I was not interested. He asked "why not?" and I simply replied "why yes?". Following that he described several so-called "benefits" of being in a guild such as easier to find groups for quests, raids and stuff. I replied to him "Its ok. If need be, I will just solo myself all the way. If you want to, you can go ahead." After which, he gave up trying to persuade me into joining the guild which I did not have the slightest idea on what it was about or even the name of it.
I consider myself a veteran game player, having played games for almost 20 years in my life. I spent the most recent years getting involved in MMO games. However, even more recently, the concept of MMO games are problematic for me.
The definition of a MMO is "A massively multiplayer online game (also called MMOG or simply MMO) is a video game which is capable of supporting hundreds or thousands of players simultaneously. By necessity, they are played on the Internet, and feature at least one persistent world."
MMOs are considered by many to be a social game. I have had my share of guilds in various games and have played in various roles such as guild leader, guild officer, raider and casual. Most noticeably, I have been the guild leader on and off in WoW for 2 years at least (on and off). Once in a while I may keep in touch with the players from the various games whom I have had played with and for the players who are still playing the game, I often get the question. "When are you going to re-form the guild?"
A guild leader is by-far, no mean feat. You have to manage the guild's inventory and players, lead and plan the raids, handle recruitment, do up the guild's website and DKP, come up with strategies for bosses and the most hated part of it, handling guild drama. To me, at the prime of my days as a guild leader, it had almost become a job to me. It felt to me like I was handling a small-medium company. (My guild had over 100+ unique players.) Every moment of my free time was spent trying to make everything go smoothly. Yes, playing the game was enjoyable. But outside the game, it was not.
Spending all the time, effort and money often ends up for naught when players would just leave the guild in a whim for simple reasons such as "unhappy with the loot system, unhappy with the officers, unhappy with the leaders". (Nobody was unhappy with me as far as I knew.) Honestly, till now, I have a low tolerance for noobs. And yes, all the epic gear that you have means nothing when you have poor attitude and skills, and being carried by other players. I don't mean to sound arrogant but if I could clone copies of myself to play the game, I am certain that I would make clearing raid content look like a joke.
At the present moment, the hardcore raider in me is no more. I consider myself a casual player. Joining pug raids whenever and however I like, even though sometimes it may mean playing with noobs. But its just a on-off thing, so it doesn't matter to me a lot. At least I do not have to face them every other day. I want to play whenever and however I like, where nobody can tell me what I can do and what I can't do. (Yet I do have a code of conduct which I follow through.)
Here's the problem. Nobody really likes such people in real life, and neither do people like such players in the game. (Unless you have some level of skill that make you useful.) Some narrow-minded people have asked, "If you want to play the game solo, then why play a MMO in the first place?". Yet it puzzles me how many of this people would actually say that Social Interaction is their prime motivation for playing MMOs. Whatever happened to playing games for fun?
I don't really intend to stay like this forever. But neither can I say I would even play a game or MMOs forever as they are time-intensive and my current socio-economic status allow me to spend more time in them. Once the status changes, gaming would have to take a back seat to other things.
I consider myself a veteran game player, having played games for almost 20 years in my life. I spent the most recent years getting involved in MMO games. However, even more recently, the concept of MMO games are problematic for me.
The definition of a MMO is "A massively multiplayer online game (also called MMOG or simply MMO) is a video game which is capable of supporting hundreds or thousands of players simultaneously. By necessity, they are played on the Internet, and feature at least one persistent world."
MMOs are considered by many to be a social game. I have had my share of guilds in various games and have played in various roles such as guild leader, guild officer, raider and casual. Most noticeably, I have been the guild leader on and off in WoW for 2 years at least (on and off). Once in a while I may keep in touch with the players from the various games whom I have had played with and for the players who are still playing the game, I often get the question. "When are you going to re-form the guild?"
A guild leader is by-far, no mean feat. You have to manage the guild's inventory and players, lead and plan the raids, handle recruitment, do up the guild's website and DKP, come up with strategies for bosses and the most hated part of it, handling guild drama. To me, at the prime of my days as a guild leader, it had almost become a job to me. It felt to me like I was handling a small-medium company. (My guild had over 100+ unique players.) Every moment of my free time was spent trying to make everything go smoothly. Yes, playing the game was enjoyable. But outside the game, it was not.
Spending all the time, effort and money often ends up for naught when players would just leave the guild in a whim for simple reasons such as "unhappy with the loot system, unhappy with the officers, unhappy with the leaders". (Nobody was unhappy with me as far as I knew.) Honestly, till now, I have a low tolerance for noobs. And yes, all the epic gear that you have means nothing when you have poor attitude and skills, and being carried by other players. I don't mean to sound arrogant but if I could clone copies of myself to play the game, I am certain that I would make clearing raid content look like a joke.
At the present moment, the hardcore raider in me is no more. I consider myself a casual player. Joining pug raids whenever and however I like, even though sometimes it may mean playing with noobs. But its just a on-off thing, so it doesn't matter to me a lot. At least I do not have to face them every other day. I want to play whenever and however I like, where nobody can tell me what I can do and what I can't do. (Yet I do have a code of conduct which I follow through.)
Here's the problem. Nobody really likes such people in real life, and neither do people like such players in the game. (Unless you have some level of skill that make you useful.) Some narrow-minded people have asked, "If you want to play the game solo, then why play a MMO in the first place?". Yet it puzzles me how many of this people would actually say that Social Interaction is their prime motivation for playing MMOs. Whatever happened to playing games for fun?
I don't really intend to stay like this forever. But neither can I say I would even play a game or MMOs forever as they are time-intensive and my current socio-economic status allow me to spend more time in them. Once the status changes, gaming would have to take a back seat to other things.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Influence
Perhaps its these recent few weeks that I've been spending more of my time alone, I realized that I've become...what should I say...more "distant" towards people and perhaps "colder" or "nonchalant" in a way. Yet it may not be a bad thing, as I find myself more and more in control of my emotions. I think too much of human interaction cloud my cognitive and emotional behavior. Somehow, I don't think it may be a bad thing to be this way.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Friday, August 14, 2009
My life closed twice before its close by Emily Dickson
My life closed twice before its close;
It yet remains to see
If Immortality unveil
A third event to me,
So huge, so hopeless to conceive,
As these that twice befell.
Parting is all we know of heaven,
And all we need of hell.
It yet remains to see
If Immortality unveil
A third event to me,
So huge, so hopeless to conceive,
As these that twice befell.
Parting is all we know of heaven,
And all we need of hell.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Wishful Thinking by Duncan Sheik
Listen to the waves,
Everything communicates
Will it ever be
Anything more than wishful thinking?
Oh no there you go
Looked away and missed the show
how much wasted time
Will you survive?
Feel the blades of grass
How it brings you back
it will always be
Only as green as you can see
Oh no there you go
Looked away and missed the show
how much wasted time
Will you survive?
Oh yeah fooled again,
I don't know how and I don't know when
Not much else to blame
But wishful thinking
Little breakdowns
In coastal towns.
They come suddenly
Crashing over you.
They come easily.
I'm falling through the skies
And frozen places
Oh no there you go
Looked away and missed the show
how much wasted time
Will you survive?
Oh yeah fooled again,
I don't know how and I don't know when
Not much else to blame
But wishful thinking
And I try to realize
That I needn't look any further
the whole of the universe
Is plain to see
And I try not to rely
On another world or the future
The whole of the universe is a mystery
And it gets me over
Yeah, it gets me over
and it gets me over
Yeah, it gets me over
Everything communicates
Will it ever be
Anything more than wishful thinking?
Oh no there you go
Looked away and missed the show
how much wasted time
Will you survive?
Feel the blades of grass
How it brings you back
it will always be
Only as green as you can see
Oh no there you go
Looked away and missed the show
how much wasted time
Will you survive?
Oh yeah fooled again,
I don't know how and I don't know when
Not much else to blame
But wishful thinking
Little breakdowns
In coastal towns.
They come suddenly
Crashing over you.
They come easily.
I'm falling through the skies
And frozen places
Oh no there you go
Looked away and missed the show
how much wasted time
Will you survive?
Oh yeah fooled again,
I don't know how and I don't know when
Not much else to blame
But wishful thinking
And I try to realize
That I needn't look any further
the whole of the universe
Is plain to see
And I try not to rely
On another world or the future
The whole of the universe is a mystery
And it gets me over
Yeah, it gets me over
and it gets me over
Yeah, it gets me over
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
God wants me to know....
....that every little part of you is magical.
Yes, even the parts that hurt, even the ones that are feeling disease right now. It's alright to love what is in pain. More than alright, that's exactly where your love is needed the most. So why not touch that part that hurts and smile at it, at yourself through it, and whisper: ''I love you.''
Grabbed this out of a facebook application. Wondering how it makes sense right now...
Yes, even the parts that hurt, even the ones that are feeling disease right now. It's alright to love what is in pain. More than alright, that's exactly where your love is needed the most. So why not touch that part that hurts and smile at it, at yourself through it, and whisper: ''I love you.''
Grabbed this out of a facebook application. Wondering how it makes sense right now...
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Careless Whisper by Seether
I feel so unsure
As I take your hand and lead you to the dance floor
As the music dies, something in your eyes
Calls to mind a silver screen and all those sad goodbyes
I'm never gonna dance again
Cause guilty feet have got no rhythm
Though it's easy to pretend
I know you're not a fool
I should have known better than to cheat a friend
And waste the chance that I'd been given
So I'm never gonna dance again
The way I danced with you
Time can never mend
The careless whispers of a good friend
To the heart and mind
Ignorance is kind
And there's no comfort in the truth
Pain is all you'll find
I'm never gonna dance again
Cause guilty feet have got no rhythm
Though it's easy to pretend
I know you're not a fool
I should have known better than to cheat a friend
And waste the chance that I'd been given
So I'm never gonna dance again
The way I danced with you
Tonight the music seems so loud
I wish that we could lose the crowd
Maybe it's better this way
We'd hurt each other with the things we want to say
We could have been so good together
We could have lived this dance forever
But now who's gonna dance with me?
Please stay
I'm never gonna dance again
Cause guilty feet have got no rhythm
Though it's easy to pretend
I know you're not a fool
I should have known better than to cheat a friend
And waste the chance that I'd been given
So I'm never gonna dance again
The way I danced with you
As I take your hand and lead you to the dance floor
As the music dies, something in your eyes
Calls to mind a silver screen and all those sad goodbyes
I'm never gonna dance again
Cause guilty feet have got no rhythm
Though it's easy to pretend
I know you're not a fool
I should have known better than to cheat a friend
And waste the chance that I'd been given
So I'm never gonna dance again
The way I danced with you
Time can never mend
The careless whispers of a good friend
To the heart and mind
Ignorance is kind
And there's no comfort in the truth
Pain is all you'll find
I'm never gonna dance again
Cause guilty feet have got no rhythm
Though it's easy to pretend
I know you're not a fool
I should have known better than to cheat a friend
And waste the chance that I'd been given
So I'm never gonna dance again
The way I danced with you
Tonight the music seems so loud
I wish that we could lose the crowd
Maybe it's better this way
We'd hurt each other with the things we want to say
We could have been so good together
We could have lived this dance forever
But now who's gonna dance with me?
Please stay
I'm never gonna dance again
Cause guilty feet have got no rhythm
Though it's easy to pretend
I know you're not a fool
I should have known better than to cheat a friend
And waste the chance that I'd been given
So I'm never gonna dance again
The way I danced with you
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Permanent by David Cook
Is this the moment where I look you in the eye?
Forgive my broken promise that you'll never see me cry
And everything, it will surely change
Even if I tell you I won't go away today
Will you think that you're all alone
When no one's there to hold your hand?
When all you know seems so far away
And everything is temporary, rest your head
I'm permanent
I know he's living in hell every single day
And so I ask, oh God is there some way for me to take his place?
And when they say it's all touch and go
I wish I could make it go away but still you say
Will you think that you're all alone
When no one's there to hold your hand?
When all you know seems so far away
And everything is temporary, rest your head
I'm permanent, I'm permanent
Is this the moment where I look you in the eye?
Forgive my promise that you'll never see me cry
Forgive my broken promise that you'll never see me cry
And everything, it will surely change
Even if I tell you I won't go away today
Will you think that you're all alone
When no one's there to hold your hand?
When all you know seems so far away
And everything is temporary, rest your head
I'm permanent
I know he's living in hell every single day
And so I ask, oh God is there some way for me to take his place?
And when they say it's all touch and go
I wish I could make it go away but still you say
Will you think that you're all alone
When no one's there to hold your hand?
When all you know seems so far away
And everything is temporary, rest your head
I'm permanent, I'm permanent
Is this the moment where I look you in the eye?
Forgive my promise that you'll never see me cry
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Monday, July 20, 2009
The other side of Ben
Without the void, the Light cannot exist...
http://theothersideofben.blogspot.com/
Permission needed so ask if you're really interested......
Geez...its really hard to talk about such deep feelings and emotions.
http://theothersideofben.blogspot.com/
Permission needed so ask if you're really interested......
Geez...its really hard to talk about such deep feelings and emotions.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Lacrimae rerum
"Sunt lacrimae rerum et mentem mortalia tangunt"
"The world is a world of tears, and the burdens of mortality touch the heart."
"The world is a world of tears, and the burdens of mortality touch the heart."
Why do we pretend to be happy?
Why do we put on disguises to be the person we're not?
Why do we forcefully smile even though we're not happy?
Why do we put on masks?
Why is it so hard to let it all go and just be who you want to be?
Why do we forcefully smile even though we're not happy?
Why do we put on masks?
Why is it so hard to let it all go and just be who you want to be?
Right Here Waiting by Richard Marx
My favourite song ever. Fell in love with it ever since the first time I heard it. Still love it now and probably will continue to love it forever. Come to think of it, this song is probably the only song that has changed the way I looked at life, especially love.
Oceans apart day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain
If I see you next to never
How can we say forever
Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you
I took for granted, all the times
That I though would last somehow
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now
Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me going crazy
Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you
I wonder how we can survive
This romance
But in the end if I'm with you
I'll take the chance
Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me going crazy
Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you
Oceans apart day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain
If I see you next to never
How can we say forever
Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you
I took for granted, all the times
That I though would last somehow
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now
Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me going crazy
Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you
I wonder how we can survive
This romance
But in the end if I'm with you
I'll take the chance
Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me going crazy
Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you
Friday, July 17, 2009
"What the Modern Woman Wants" by Chong Wei-Zhen
The old woman sat in the backseat of the magenta convertible as it careened down the highway, clutching tightly to the plastic bag on her lap, afraid it may be kidnapped by the wind. She was not used to such speed, with trembling hands she pulled the seatbelt tighter but was careful not to touch the patent leather seats with her callused fingers, her daughter had warned her not to dirty it, 'Fingerprints show very clearly on white, Ma.'
Her daughter, Bee Choo, was driving and talking on her sleek silver mobile phone using big words the old woman could barely understand. 'Finance' 'Liquidation' 'Assets' 'Investments'... Her voice was crisp and important and had an unfamiliar lilt to it. Her Bee Choo sounded like one of those foreign girls on television. She was speaking in an American accent.
The old lady clucked her tongue in disapproval. 'I absolutely cannot have this. We have to sell!' Her daughter exclaimed agitatedly as she stepped on the accelerator; her perfectly manicured fingernails gripping onto the steering wheel in irritation.
'I can't DEAL with this anymore!' she yelled as she clicked the phone shut and hurled it angrily toward the backseat. The mobile phone hit the old woman on the forehead and nestled soundlessly into her lap. She calmly picked it up and handed it to her daughter.
'Sorry, Ma,' she said, losing the American pretence and switching to Mandarin. 'I have a big client in America. There have been a lot of problems.' The old lady nodded knowingly. Her daughter was big and important.
Bee Choo stared at her mother from the rear view window, wondering what she was thinking. Her mother's wrinkled countenance always carried the same cryptic look.
The phone began to ring again, an artificially cheerful digital tune, which broke the awkward silence. 'Hello, Beatrice! Yes, this is Elaine.' Elaine. The old woman cringed. I didn't name her Elaine. She remembered her daughter telling her, how an English name was very important for 'networking', Chinese ones being easily forgotten.
'Oh no, I can't see you for lunch today. I have to take the ancient relic to the temple for her weird daily prayer ritual.'
Ancient Relic. The old woman understood perfectly it was referring to her. Her daughter always assumed that her mother's silence meant she did not comprehend.
'Yes, I know! My car seats will be reeking of joss sticks!' The old woman pursed her lips tightly, her hands gripping her plastic bag in defence. The car curved smoothly into the temple courtyard. It looked almost garish next to the dull sheen of the ageing temple's roof. The old woman got out of the back seat, and made her unhurried way to the main hall.
Her daughter stepped out of the car in her business suit and stilettos and reapplied her lipstick as she made her brisk way to her mother's side.
'Ma, I'll wait outside. I have an important phone call to make,' she said, not bothering to hide her disgust at the pungent fumes of incense.
The old lady hobbled into the temple hall and lit a joss stick, she knelt down solemnly and whispered her now familiar daily prayer to the Gods.
Thank you God of the Sky, you have given my daughter luck all these years. Everything I prayed for, you have given her. She has everything a young woman in this world could possibly want. She has a big house with a swimming pool, a maid to help her, as she is too clumsy to sew or cook.
Her love life has been blessed; she is engaged to a rich and handsome angmoh man. Her company is now the top financial firm and even men listen to what she says. She lives the perfect life. You have given her everything except happiness. I ask that the gods be merciful to her even if she has lost her roots while reaping the harvest of success.
What you see is not true, she is a filial daughter to me. She gives me a room in her big house and provides well for me. She is rude to me only because I affect her happiness. A young woman does not want to be hindered by her old mother. It is my fault.
The old lady prayed so hard that tears welled up in her eyes. Finally, with her head bowed in reverence she planted the half-burnt joss stick into an urn of smouldering ashes.
She bowed once more. The old woman had been praying for her daughter for thirty-two years. When her stomach was round like a melon, she came to the temple and prayed that it was a son.
Then the time was ripe and the baby slipped out of her womb, bawling and adorable with fat thighs and pink cheeks, but unmistakably, a girl. Her husband had kicked and punched her for producing a useless baby who could not work or carry the family name.
Still, the woman returned to the temple with her new-born girl tied to her waist in a sarong and prayed that her daughter would grow up and have everything she ever wanted. Her husband left her and she prayed that her daughter would never have to depend on a man.
She prayed every day that her daughter would be a great woman, the woman that she, meek and uneducated, could never become. A woman with nenggan; the ability to do anything she set her mind to. A woman who commanded respect in the hearts of men. When she opened her mouth to speak, precious pearls would fall out and men would listen.
She will not be like me, the woman prayed as she watched her daughter grow up and drift away from her, speaking a language she scarcely understood. She watched her daughter transform from a quiet girl, to one who openly defied her, calling her laotu; old-fashioned. She wanted her mother to be 'modern', a word so new there was no Chinese word for it.
Now her daughter was too clever for her and the old woman wondered why she had prayed like that. The gods had been faithful to her persistent prayer, but the wealth and success that poured forth so richly had buried the girl's roots and now she stood, faceless, with no identity, bound to the soil of her ancestors by only a string of origami banknotes.
Her daughter had forgotten her mother's values. Her wants were so ephemeral; that of a modern woman. Power, Wealth, access to the best fashion boutiques, and yet her daughter had not found true happiness. The old woman knew that you could find happiness with much less. When her daughter left the earth everything she had would count for nothing. People would look to her legacy and say that she was a great woman, but she would be forgotten once the wind blows over, like the ashes of burnt paper convertibles and mansions.
The old woman wished she could go back and erase all her big hopes and prayers for her daughter; now she had only one want: That her daughter be happy. She looked out of the temple gate. She saw her daughter speaking on the phone, her brow furrowed with anger and worry. Being at the top is not good, the woman thought, there is only one way to go from there - down.
The old woman carefully unfolded the plastic bag and spread out a packet of beehoon in front of the altar. Her daughter often mocked her for worshipping porcelain Gods. How could she pray to them so faithfully and expect pieces of ceramic to fly to her aid? But her daughter had her own gods too, idols of wealth, success and power that she was enslaved to and worshipped every day of her life.
Every day was a quest for the idols, and the idols she worshipped counted for nothing in eternity. All the wants her daughter had would slowly suck the life out of her and leave her, an empty soulless shell at the altar.
The old lady watched her joss tick. The dull heat had left a teetering grey stem that was on the danger of collapsing. Modern woman nowadays, the old lady sighed in resignation, as she bowed to the east one final time to end her ritual. Modern woman nowadays want so much that they lose their souls and wonder why they cannot find it.
Her joss stick disintegrated into a soft grey powder. She met her daughter outside the temple, the same look of worry and frustration was etched on her daughter's face. An empty expression, as if she was ploughing through the soil of her wants looking for the one thing that would sow the seeds of happiness.
They climbed into the convertible in silence and her daughter drove along the highway, this time not as fast as she had done before.
'Ma,' Bee Choo finally said. 'I don't know how to put this. Mark and I have been talking about it and we plan to move out of the big house. The property market is good now, and we managed to get a buyer willing to pay seven million for it. We decided we'd prefer a cosier penthouse apartment instead. We found a perfect one in Orchard Road. Once we move in to our apartment we plan to get rid of the maid, so we can have more space to ourselves...'
The old woman nodded knowingly. Bee Choo swallowed hard. 'We'd get someone to come in
to do the housework and we can eat out - but once the maid is gone, there won't be anyone to look after you. You will be awfully lonely at home and, besides that, the apartment is rather small. There won't be space. We thought about it for a long time, and we decided the best thing for you is if you moved to a Home. There's one near Hougang - it's a Christian home, a very nice one.'
The old woman did not raise an eyebrow. 'I've been there, the matron is willing to take you in. It's beautiful with gardens and lots of old people to keep you company! I hardly have time for you, you'd be happier there.'
'You'd be happier there, really.' Her daughter repeated as if to affirm herself. This time the old woman had no plastic bag of food offerings to cling tightly to; she bit her lip and fastened her seat belt, as if it would protect her from a daughter who did not want her anymore. She sunk deep into the leather seat, letting her shoulders sag, and her fingers trace the white seat.
'Ma?' her daughter asked, searching the rear view window for her mother. 'Is everything okay?' What had to be done, had to be done. 'Yes,' she said firmly, louder than she intended, 'if it will make you happy,' she added more quietly.
'It's for you, Ma! You'll be happier there. You can move there tomorrow, I already got the maid to pack your things.' Elaine said triumphantly, mentally ticking yet another item off her agenda.
'I knew everything would be fine.'
Elaine smiled widely; she felt liberated. Perhaps getting rid of her mother would make her happier. She had thought about it. It seemed the only hindrance in her pursuit of happiness. She was happy now. She had everything a modern woman ever wanted; Money, Status, Career, Love,Power and now, Freedom, without her mother and her old-fashioned ways to weigh her down...
Yes, she was free. Her phone buzzed urgently, she picked it up and read the message, still beaming from ear to ear. 'Stocks 10% increase!'
Yes, things were definitely beginning to look up for her...
And while searching for the meaning of life in the luminance of her hand phone screen, the old woman in the backseat became invisible, and she did not see the tears.
Her daughter, Bee Choo, was driving and talking on her sleek silver mobile phone using big words the old woman could barely understand. 'Finance' 'Liquidation' 'Assets' 'Investments'... Her voice was crisp and important and had an unfamiliar lilt to it. Her Bee Choo sounded like one of those foreign girls on television. She was speaking in an American accent.
The old lady clucked her tongue in disapproval. 'I absolutely cannot have this. We have to sell!' Her daughter exclaimed agitatedly as she stepped on the accelerator; her perfectly manicured fingernails gripping onto the steering wheel in irritation.
'I can't DEAL with this anymore!' she yelled as she clicked the phone shut and hurled it angrily toward the backseat. The mobile phone hit the old woman on the forehead and nestled soundlessly into her lap. She calmly picked it up and handed it to her daughter.
'Sorry, Ma,' she said, losing the American pretence and switching to Mandarin. 'I have a big client in America. There have been a lot of problems.' The old lady nodded knowingly. Her daughter was big and important.
Bee Choo stared at her mother from the rear view window, wondering what she was thinking. Her mother's wrinkled countenance always carried the same cryptic look.
The phone began to ring again, an artificially cheerful digital tune, which broke the awkward silence. 'Hello, Beatrice! Yes, this is Elaine.' Elaine. The old woman cringed. I didn't name her Elaine. She remembered her daughter telling her, how an English name was very important for 'networking', Chinese ones being easily forgotten.
'Oh no, I can't see you for lunch today. I have to take the ancient relic to the temple for her weird daily prayer ritual.'
Ancient Relic. The old woman understood perfectly it was referring to her. Her daughter always assumed that her mother's silence meant she did not comprehend.
'Yes, I know! My car seats will be reeking of joss sticks!' The old woman pursed her lips tightly, her hands gripping her plastic bag in defence. The car curved smoothly into the temple courtyard. It looked almost garish next to the dull sheen of the ageing temple's roof. The old woman got out of the back seat, and made her unhurried way to the main hall.
Her daughter stepped out of the car in her business suit and stilettos and reapplied her lipstick as she made her brisk way to her mother's side.
'Ma, I'll wait outside. I have an important phone call to make,' she said, not bothering to hide her disgust at the pungent fumes of incense.
The old lady hobbled into the temple hall and lit a joss stick, she knelt down solemnly and whispered her now familiar daily prayer to the Gods.
Thank you God of the Sky, you have given my daughter luck all these years. Everything I prayed for, you have given her. She has everything a young woman in this world could possibly want. She has a big house with a swimming pool, a maid to help her, as she is too clumsy to sew or cook.
Her love life has been blessed; she is engaged to a rich and handsome angmoh man. Her company is now the top financial firm and even men listen to what she says. She lives the perfect life. You have given her everything except happiness. I ask that the gods be merciful to her even if she has lost her roots while reaping the harvest of success.
What you see is not true, she is a filial daughter to me. She gives me a room in her big house and provides well for me. She is rude to me only because I affect her happiness. A young woman does not want to be hindered by her old mother. It is my fault.
The old lady prayed so hard that tears welled up in her eyes. Finally, with her head bowed in reverence she planted the half-burnt joss stick into an urn of smouldering ashes.
She bowed once more. The old woman had been praying for her daughter for thirty-two years. When her stomach was round like a melon, she came to the temple and prayed that it was a son.
Then the time was ripe and the baby slipped out of her womb, bawling and adorable with fat thighs and pink cheeks, but unmistakably, a girl. Her husband had kicked and punched her for producing a useless baby who could not work or carry the family name.
Still, the woman returned to the temple with her new-born girl tied to her waist in a sarong and prayed that her daughter would grow up and have everything she ever wanted. Her husband left her and she prayed that her daughter would never have to depend on a man.
She prayed every day that her daughter would be a great woman, the woman that she, meek and uneducated, could never become. A woman with nenggan; the ability to do anything she set her mind to. A woman who commanded respect in the hearts of men. When she opened her mouth to speak, precious pearls would fall out and men would listen.
She will not be like me, the woman prayed as she watched her daughter grow up and drift away from her, speaking a language she scarcely understood. She watched her daughter transform from a quiet girl, to one who openly defied her, calling her laotu; old-fashioned. She wanted her mother to be 'modern', a word so new there was no Chinese word for it.
Now her daughter was too clever for her and the old woman wondered why she had prayed like that. The gods had been faithful to her persistent prayer, but the wealth and success that poured forth so richly had buried the girl's roots and now she stood, faceless, with no identity, bound to the soil of her ancestors by only a string of origami banknotes.
Her daughter had forgotten her mother's values. Her wants were so ephemeral; that of a modern woman. Power, Wealth, access to the best fashion boutiques, and yet her daughter had not found true happiness. The old woman knew that you could find happiness with much less. When her daughter left the earth everything she had would count for nothing. People would look to her legacy and say that she was a great woman, but she would be forgotten once the wind blows over, like the ashes of burnt paper convertibles and mansions.
The old woman wished she could go back and erase all her big hopes and prayers for her daughter; now she had only one want: That her daughter be happy. She looked out of the temple gate. She saw her daughter speaking on the phone, her brow furrowed with anger and worry. Being at the top is not good, the woman thought, there is only one way to go from there - down.
The old woman carefully unfolded the plastic bag and spread out a packet of beehoon in front of the altar. Her daughter often mocked her for worshipping porcelain Gods. How could she pray to them so faithfully and expect pieces of ceramic to fly to her aid? But her daughter had her own gods too, idols of wealth, success and power that she was enslaved to and worshipped every day of her life.
Every day was a quest for the idols, and the idols she worshipped counted for nothing in eternity. All the wants her daughter had would slowly suck the life out of her and leave her, an empty soulless shell at the altar.
The old lady watched her joss tick. The dull heat had left a teetering grey stem that was on the danger of collapsing. Modern woman nowadays, the old lady sighed in resignation, as she bowed to the east one final time to end her ritual. Modern woman nowadays want so much that they lose their souls and wonder why they cannot find it.
Her joss stick disintegrated into a soft grey powder. She met her daughter outside the temple, the same look of worry and frustration was etched on her daughter's face. An empty expression, as if she was ploughing through the soil of her wants looking for the one thing that would sow the seeds of happiness.
They climbed into the convertible in silence and her daughter drove along the highway, this time not as fast as she had done before.
'Ma,' Bee Choo finally said. 'I don't know how to put this. Mark and I have been talking about it and we plan to move out of the big house. The property market is good now, and we managed to get a buyer willing to pay seven million for it. We decided we'd prefer a cosier penthouse apartment instead. We found a perfect one in Orchard Road. Once we move in to our apartment we plan to get rid of the maid, so we can have more space to ourselves...'
The old woman nodded knowingly. Bee Choo swallowed hard. 'We'd get someone to come in
to do the housework and we can eat out - but once the maid is gone, there won't be anyone to look after you. You will be awfully lonely at home and, besides that, the apartment is rather small. There won't be space. We thought about it for a long time, and we decided the best thing for you is if you moved to a Home. There's one near Hougang - it's a Christian home, a very nice one.'
The old woman did not raise an eyebrow. 'I've been there, the matron is willing to take you in. It's beautiful with gardens and lots of old people to keep you company! I hardly have time for you, you'd be happier there.'
'You'd be happier there, really.' Her daughter repeated as if to affirm herself. This time the old woman had no plastic bag of food offerings to cling tightly to; she bit her lip and fastened her seat belt, as if it would protect her from a daughter who did not want her anymore. She sunk deep into the leather seat, letting her shoulders sag, and her fingers trace the white seat.
'Ma?' her daughter asked, searching the rear view window for her mother. 'Is everything okay?' What had to be done, had to be done. 'Yes,' she said firmly, louder than she intended, 'if it will make you happy,' she added more quietly.
'It's for you, Ma! You'll be happier there. You can move there tomorrow, I already got the maid to pack your things.' Elaine said triumphantly, mentally ticking yet another item off her agenda.
'I knew everything would be fine.'
Elaine smiled widely; she felt liberated. Perhaps getting rid of her mother would make her happier. She had thought about it. It seemed the only hindrance in her pursuit of happiness. She was happy now. She had everything a modern woman ever wanted; Money, Status, Career, Love,Power and now, Freedom, without her mother and her old-fashioned ways to weigh her down...
Yes, she was free. Her phone buzzed urgently, she picked it up and read the message, still beaming from ear to ear. 'Stocks 10% increase!'
Yes, things were definitely beginning to look up for her...
And while searching for the meaning of life in the luminance of her hand phone screen, the old woman in the backseat became invisible, and she did not see the tears.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
How do I do without......
The Friday BBQ is nearing and I've been getting requests to bake. Aside from the problem of what to bake and where to store the cake during the BBQ, I am hesitant to bake this time. Not because I am lazy, its expensive or I have no time, but rather, I don't have the heart to do so.
People used to ask me. How do you bake so nice? I don't think I'm a fantastic baker. Self-learning from the internet and having a few recipe books. That's all I have. In fact, I don't recall baking anything more than once. Never repeated any of the stuff I made. Bake once. That's it. Next time try a different recipe. Of course there's room for improvement, since nothing is perfect, but still I would like to try something different everytime. So what's the *secret* behind these delicious cakes or cupcakes? The answer: Love.
Whenever I baked in the past, it was usually for a reason. I always (and I stress, ALWAYS) baked with someone in my mind and heart. We've all heard it before in some variation or another. I never really questioned it until people started asking how did I make it so nice or what sort of secret did I have. Never found the answer until recently. Why recently? Because recently I've emptied my heart. And because of this emptiness, it made me realize how nice it is to have someone in your heart. (Or perhaps it would be better if it was reciprocated. Though I may never find out.)
Yet while I think how nice it is to have someone in your heart, I tend to forget about the negative aspects of it. How miserable and depressed I was. How crazy I was over that person. Its almost the same everytime. But the effects are more severe each time. Sometimes it makes me afraid just to think that I could place someone more important than myself. (That's why I started wearing a ring to remind myself to love myself.) Honestly I don't know if I can bake for Friday or how can I do anything without love.
People used to ask me. How do you bake so nice? I don't think I'm a fantastic baker. Self-learning from the internet and having a few recipe books. That's all I have. In fact, I don't recall baking anything more than once. Never repeated any of the stuff I made. Bake once. That's it. Next time try a different recipe. Of course there's room for improvement, since nothing is perfect, but still I would like to try something different everytime. So what's the *secret* behind these delicious cakes or cupcakes? The answer: Love.
Whenever I baked in the past, it was usually for a reason. I always (and I stress, ALWAYS) baked with someone in my mind and heart. We've all heard it before in some variation or another. I never really questioned it until people started asking how did I make it so nice or what sort of secret did I have. Never found the answer until recently. Why recently? Because recently I've emptied my heart. And because of this emptiness, it made me realize how nice it is to have someone in your heart. (Or perhaps it would be better if it was reciprocated. Though I may never find out.)
Yet while I think how nice it is to have someone in your heart, I tend to forget about the negative aspects of it. How miserable and depressed I was. How crazy I was over that person. Its almost the same everytime. But the effects are more severe each time. Sometimes it makes me afraid just to think that I could place someone more important than myself. (That's why I started wearing a ring to remind myself to love myself.) Honestly I don't know if I can bake for Friday or how can I do anything without love.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Passing Afternoon by Iron & Wine
There are times that walk from you like some passing afternoon
Summer warmed the open window of her honeymoon
And she chose a yard to burn but the ground remembers her
Wooden spoons, her children stir her Bougainvillea blooms
There are things that drift away like our endless, numbered days
Autumn blew the quilt right off the perfect bed she made
And she's chosen to believe in the hymns her mother sings
Sunday pulls its children from their piles of fallen leaves
There are sailing ships that pass all our bodies in the grass
Springtime calls her children 'till she let's them go at last
And she's chosen where to be, though she's lost her wedding ring
Somewhere near her misplaced jar of Bougainvillea seeds
There are things we can't recall, blind as night that finds us all
Winter tucks her children in, her fragile china dolls
But my hands remember hers, rolling 'round the shaded ferns
Naked arms, her secrets still like songs I'd never learned
There are names across the sea, only now I do believe
Sometimes, with the windows closed, she'll sit and think of me
But she'll mend his tattered clothes and they'll kiss as if they know
A baby sleeps in all our bones, so scared to be alone
Summer warmed the open window of her honeymoon
And she chose a yard to burn but the ground remembers her
Wooden spoons, her children stir her Bougainvillea blooms
There are things that drift away like our endless, numbered days
Autumn blew the quilt right off the perfect bed she made
And she's chosen to believe in the hymns her mother sings
Sunday pulls its children from their piles of fallen leaves
There are sailing ships that pass all our bodies in the grass
Springtime calls her children 'till she let's them go at last
And she's chosen where to be, though she's lost her wedding ring
Somewhere near her misplaced jar of Bougainvillea seeds
There are things we can't recall, blind as night that finds us all
Winter tucks her children in, her fragile china dolls
But my hands remember hers, rolling 'round the shaded ferns
Naked arms, her secrets still like songs I'd never learned
There are names across the sea, only now I do believe
Sometimes, with the windows closed, she'll sit and think of me
But she'll mend his tattered clothes and they'll kiss as if they know
A baby sleeps in all our bones, so scared to be alone
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Embarrassing
Was reading through all the stuff that me and my friends wrote at that time. How on earth did we manage to write such mushy stuff?!
Loving You
By Nicholas Thio
As I gaze into your eyes,
I am entranced by your charm.
Taking your hand in mine,
I feel your warmth rush throughout my body.
I envisage us standing here alone,
In this univserse till the end of time.
Your soul entwines with mine,
As I Love you more with every breath.
As your love intoxicates me.
I feel our hearts beating in unison,
Our love cuts through the darkest of the nights like a beam of sunlight.
So let us keep this bright flame of ours burning,
I feel myself captivated by your love,
As I hold you in my arms and feel your heart close to mine.
Let me love you with all my heart,
or till death do us part.
As I gaze into your eyes,
I am entranced by your charm.
Taking your hand in mine,
I feel your warmth rush throughout my body.
I envisage us standing here alone,
In this univserse till the end of time.
Your soul entwines with mine,
As I Love you more with every breath.
As your love intoxicates me.
I feel our hearts beating in unison,
Our love cuts through the darkest of the nights like a beam of sunlight.
So let us keep this bright flame of ours burning,
I feel myself captivated by your love,
As I hold you in my arms and feel your heart close to mine.
Let me love you with all my heart,
or till death do us part.
Secretly Loving You
By Ivory Lim
If we can't be lovers,
Can we still be friends,
I ask myself this question,
Over and over again.
My mind screams yes
But my heart cannot deny,
I still dream that one day
You would again be mine.
I know I am foolish,
but doesn't love make us fools?
Being with you again,
Doesn't mean you will be true.
Confused and upset,
I ask myself just what I should do,
And my heart tells me
To just secretly love you.
If we can't be lovers,
Can we still be friends,
I ask myself this question,
Over and over again.
My mind screams yes
But my heart cannot deny,
I still dream that one day
You would again be mine.
I know I am foolish,
but doesn't love make us fools?
Being with you again,
Doesn't mean you will be true.
Confused and upset,
I ask myself just what I should do,
And my heart tells me
To just secretly love you.
For Ben
By Ivory Lim
I know that you've been hurt
And your heart is now in pain.
I know that you're afraid
To fall in love again.
I know that you're lonely
You're hurting alone inside.
I know that you're lost
You've got nowhere to hide.
I know that you're unhappy
You think that no one cares,
But I do want you to know that
If you need me, I'll be there.
I know that you've been hurt
And your heart is now in pain.
I know that you're afraid
To fall in love again.
I know that you're lonely
You're hurting alone inside.
I know that you're lost
You've got nowhere to hide.
I know that you're unhappy
You think that no one cares,
But I do want you to know that
If you need me, I'll be there.
Angels
By Ivory Lim
There are times you feel so alone,
There's no one to guide you..you're on your own.
You tried looking around, searching for a friend
But sometimes you don't find one in the end.
Although you've been searching high and low...
But have you tried searching with your heart and soul?
My child, open your eyes and you will see,
Angels who will lift you from your misery.
They are sent from heaven to help and guide us,
Love us, teach us, to stay by our sides, protect us.
They brighten our darkened paths so we can find our way.
Child, an angel's beside you, every minute of the day.
When things go wrong, do not despair.
For your guardian angel is always there.
Lifting you up when ever you fall,
An angel will be there, whenever you call.
So child, don't cry when things don't work out right,
For an angel's constantly by your side.
There are times you feel so alone,
There's no one to guide you..you're on your own.
You tried looking around, searching for a friend
But sometimes you don't find one in the end.
Although you've been searching high and low...
But have you tried searching with your heart and soul?
My child, open your eyes and you will see,
Angels who will lift you from your misery.
They are sent from heaven to help and guide us,
Love us, teach us, to stay by our sides, protect us.
They brighten our darkened paths so we can find our way.
Child, an angel's beside you, every minute of the day.
When things go wrong, do not despair.
For your guardian angel is always there.
Lifting you up when ever you fall,
An angel will be there, whenever you call.
So child, don't cry when things don't work out right,
For an angel's constantly by your side.
My First
By Claire Ban
I thought you were my destiny
You were like an angel, so wonderful, so heavenly
I thought you were a godsend from above
A treasure from Cupid, the God of Love
Yet Cruel fate has a way of tricking helpless mankind
I was only a puppet in the hands of Fate
Foolish girl as was, I realized it too late
That what seemed to be the most beautiful memory of my life
Turned out to be moments of grief and strife.
The sweet sweet memories of one's first love
Presented like a rich treasure trove
Like the beautiful summer sunset,
It's beauty was only there for a brief moment.
Yet the darkness came, and no light ever came since.
Long after I was thrown into a period of confusion, hatred, bitterness and sorrow
Waiting for happiness and liberation which will be found tomorrow
Yet tomorrow never seems to come,
As if lurking in the veil of night, hiding away from me.
Oh The bitterness! The anguish!
Ironically all from the moments of life which most I relished.
I thought you were my destiny
You were like an angel, so wonderful, so heavenly
I thought you were a godsend from above
A treasure from Cupid, the God of Love
Yet Cruel fate has a way of tricking helpless mankind
I was only a puppet in the hands of Fate
Foolish girl as was, I realized it too late
That what seemed to be the most beautiful memory of my life
Turned out to be moments of grief and strife.
The sweet sweet memories of one's first love
Presented like a rich treasure trove
Like the beautiful summer sunset,
It's beauty was only there for a brief moment.
Yet the darkness came, and no light ever came since.
Long after I was thrown into a period of confusion, hatred, bitterness and sorrow
Waiting for happiness and liberation which will be found tomorrow
Yet tomorrow never seems to come,
As if lurking in the veil of night, hiding away from me.
Oh The bitterness! The anguish!
Ironically all from the moments of life which most I relished.
Why did you lie?
I trusted you,
Whenever I was down.
You always told me what to do,
But why did you lie?
I told you all my secrets,
You consoled me and my heart.
From all the despair and sorrow,
But why did you lie?
The day came I finally knew,
That the one I was searching was you.
I wanted to tell you but I had no courage to,
But why did you lie?
So one day I couldn't help it,
But to tell you the feelings I had for you.
You sounded shock and didn't know what to do,
But why did you lie?
I asked you if your heart belonged to him,
You told me it was a forgotten dream.
My face brightened up in a gleam,
But why did you lie?
I thought of you every day and night,
I couldn't get you out of my sight.
Deep inside I thought I was right,
But why did you lie?
The day came when you had to say,
The fearful truth on that very day.
Before that moment I started to pray,
But why did you lie?
You told me your heart belonged to him,
My heart shattered and tears flowed to the heart's rim.
I hoped that I was experiencing a bad dream,
But why did you lie?
I trusted you with all my heart,
But now my courage is starting to break apart.
For you lied to me from the start,
I want to love you but your heart isn't mine to take.
Your heart is his to care or rip apart.
But all I want to ask is why?
Why did you lie?
Whenever I was down.
You always told me what to do,
But why did you lie?
I told you all my secrets,
You consoled me and my heart.
From all the despair and sorrow,
But why did you lie?
The day came I finally knew,
That the one I was searching was you.
I wanted to tell you but I had no courage to,
But why did you lie?
So one day I couldn't help it,
But to tell you the feelings I had for you.
You sounded shock and didn't know what to do,
But why did you lie?
I asked you if your heart belonged to him,
You told me it was a forgotten dream.
My face brightened up in a gleam,
But why did you lie?
I thought of you every day and night,
I couldn't get you out of my sight.
Deep inside I thought I was right,
But why did you lie?
The day came when you had to say,
The fearful truth on that very day.
Before that moment I started to pray,
But why did you lie?
You told me your heart belonged to him,
My heart shattered and tears flowed to the heart's rim.
I hoped that I was experiencing a bad dream,
But why did you lie?
I trusted you with all my heart,
But now my courage is starting to break apart.
For you lied to me from the start,
I want to love you but your heart isn't mine to take.
Your heart is his to care or rip apart.
But all I want to ask is why?
Why did you lie?
Why Did You Go?
I thought that when we met
There was something special
That would keep us together.
Why did you go?
We got along so well
And talked and shared our dreams
Of love and happiness.
Why did you go?
I treated you so special
Each and every day
I did everything for you.
Why did you go?
I told you i loved you
And you told me too
You made my heart smile
Why did you go?
I know i did nothing wrong
To hurt you in any way
For you became my life.
Why did you go?
My days were happy
And filled with love of you
You meant so much to me.
Why did you go?
It all ended so fast
Though you never told me why
It had to be over between us.
Why did you go?
My heart will always treasure
Our special moments together
But ache with your absence.
Why did you go?
There was something special
That would keep us together.
Why did you go?
We got along so well
And talked and shared our dreams
Of love and happiness.
Why did you go?
I treated you so special
Each and every day
I did everything for you.
Why did you go?
I told you i loved you
And you told me too
You made my heart smile
Why did you go?
I know i did nothing wrong
To hurt you in any way
For you became my life.
Why did you go?
My days were happy
And filled with love of you
You meant so much to me.
Why did you go?
It all ended so fast
Though you never told me why
It had to be over between us.
Why did you go?
My heart will always treasure
Our special moments together
But ache with your absence.
Why did you go?
Sunshower
Would the sun continue to shine after the rain?
Who would be loving enough to take away this pain?
Even though the storm is now gone,
It has left my soul so forlorn.
A ray of light bursts through the shroud of darkness,
Over the land filled with loneliness.
The rain stops and the land is once again,
Filled with sunshine after the rain.
The dazzling sunlight,
Brings so much hope in life.
So much that I could never imagine as I might,
Setting me free from that nostalgic vice.
The birds start to sing and fly,
Over meadows where clouds used to cry.
Flowers in it begin to bloom,
Chasing away all the sadness and gloom.
But as all good things must come to an end,
The rain suddenly starts to fall again.
Engulfing the land in its darkness,
Leaving me wonder why I loved you with such madness.
Who would be loving enough to take away this pain?
Even though the storm is now gone,
It has left my soul so forlorn.
A ray of light bursts through the shroud of darkness,
Over the land filled with loneliness.
The rain stops and the land is once again,
Filled with sunshine after the rain.
The dazzling sunlight,
Brings so much hope in life.
So much that I could never imagine as I might,
Setting me free from that nostalgic vice.
The birds start to sing and fly,
Over meadows where clouds used to cry.
Flowers in it begin to bloom,
Chasing away all the sadness and gloom.
But as all good things must come to an end,
The rain suddenly starts to fall again.
Engulfing the land in its darkness,
Leaving me wonder why I loved you with such madness.
Rest Of Time
As I look up into the starry twilight,
Holding you in my arms as we dance in the moonlight.
Never thought I would,
Never thought I could.
Be loving you the way like I should.
Like a gift bestowed upon me,
How in the past did I ever not see.
The only truly one made for me.
Though we are miles apart,
The one thing we share are the beats of our heart.
Beating as one, we are always together,
Through sun, rain, sleet and all other weather.
When I touch you and hold you tight,
Everything in my world is finally right.
Whenever you are near me or holding my hand,
I finally realize and understand.
The most important thing in my life is right before my eyes,
This much I swear,not a single lie.
All these words I'll carry with me till I die.
If you would only let me,if I may dare.
Let me make you happy and I'll always be there.
For you,with you,only you.
Let me love you for the rest of time.
Holding you in my arms as we dance in the moonlight.
Never thought I would,
Never thought I could.
Be loving you the way like I should.
Like a gift bestowed upon me,
How in the past did I ever not see.
The only truly one made for me.
Though we are miles apart,
The one thing we share are the beats of our heart.
Beating as one, we are always together,
Through sun, rain, sleet and all other weather.
When I touch you and hold you tight,
Everything in my world is finally right.
Whenever you are near me or holding my hand,
I finally realize and understand.
The most important thing in my life is right before my eyes,
This much I swear,not a single lie.
All these words I'll carry with me till I die.
If you would only let me,if I may dare.
Let me make you happy and I'll always be there.
For you,with you,only you.
Let me love you for the rest of time.
My Heart is Crying
I look out the window on this lonely night,
The blanket of stars in the sky are sparkling bright.
I look again and see the rain falling,
Every raindrop is a tear my heart is crying.
Darkness embraces my lonely heart filled with despair,
Which is desperately trying not to tear.
For you shattered it totally,
With lies you told so truthfully.
I wonder was it just a dream,
A dream so real that it brightened my life with gleam.
So real that I did not see the nightmare behind it,
Not even the stars of this night so brightly lit.
Reminiscence of my love for you I weep,
I don't know if these memories I should keep.
For the scars they made will never heal,
And so the hurt you dealt to me never will
Please tell me what to do,
You broke my heart devoted to you so true.
I don't understand why did you lie,
For now my heart can't help it but to cry.
The blanket of stars in the sky are sparkling bright.
I look again and see the rain falling,
Every raindrop is a tear my heart is crying.
Darkness embraces my lonely heart filled with despair,
Which is desperately trying not to tear.
For you shattered it totally,
With lies you told so truthfully.
I wonder was it just a dream,
A dream so real that it brightened my life with gleam.
So real that I did not see the nightmare behind it,
Not even the stars of this night so brightly lit.
Reminiscence of my love for you I weep,
I don't know if these memories I should keep.
For the scars they made will never heal,
And so the hurt you dealt to me never will
Please tell me what to do,
You broke my heart devoted to you so true.
I don't understand why did you lie,
For now my heart can't help it but to cry.
My Heart
My love for you is strong and deep,
Feelings hidden inside for you I cannot keep.
Now, today I must tell,
That one day for you I fell.
Hour after hour,
Day after day.
I find it easier and easier,
And now can I say.
My heart is as fresh as dew,
Secrets in it I must let you know.
My love for you,
Will always grow.
It is time for you to be aware,
I hope you know I truly care.
Your voice whispers love to my brain,
Especially when you call my name.
Please stop and take a glance,
Give me one true chance.
Though my love seems unknown,
But a word from you and it will be shown.
I know in my heart,
That you are the one.
You can see it in my heart,
and from the thing's I've done.
Always and forever,
You know it's true.
Please Believe me
When I say I love you.
Feelings hidden inside for you I cannot keep.
Now, today I must tell,
That one day for you I fell.
Hour after hour,
Day after day.
I find it easier and easier,
And now can I say.
My heart is as fresh as dew,
Secrets in it I must let you know.
My love for you,
Will always grow.
It is time for you to be aware,
I hope you know I truly care.
Your voice whispers love to my brain,
Especially when you call my name.
Please stop and take a glance,
Give me one true chance.
Though my love seems unknown,
But a word from you and it will be shown.
I know in my heart,
That you are the one.
You can see it in my heart,
and from the thing's I've done.
Always and forever,
You know it's true.
Please Believe me
When I say I love you.
Goodbye
Every night I am dreaming,
I never stopped believing.
That one day we'll still be together,
Over the aisles of time that will bind us forever.
The pain fills my dreams with fears,
Underneath the blanket soaked with tears.
Memories of the past I cannot erase,
Especially the sweet smile on your face.
Why did you leave me in that rain,
Drowning me in that sorrow pain.
Is my life really meant to be,
To accept my destiny fate bestowed on me.
Take away the nightmares and fears from my head,
Let this agony begin to fade.
Release me from bearing another sigh,
Guess its time to say goodbye.
I never stopped believing.
That one day we'll still be together,
Over the aisles of time that will bind us forever.
The pain fills my dreams with fears,
Underneath the blanket soaked with tears.
Memories of the past I cannot erase,
Especially the sweet smile on your face.
Why did you leave me in that rain,
Drowning me in that sorrow pain.
Is my life really meant to be,
To accept my destiny fate bestowed on me.
Take away the nightmares and fears from my head,
Let this agony begin to fade.
Release me from bearing another sigh,
Guess its time to say goodbye.
For Ivory
When you stumble along the way,
Just reach out for me and call.
Even though I'm so far away,
I'll be there to catch you from the fall.
When you need a listening ear,
To share all your pain and sorrow.
Whether I'm far or near,
I'll make it a better tomorrow.
If you need to shed some tears,
Just know that I'm always near.
Whenever you're lonely,
I'll be there to make you happy.
Never say you want to die,
When you know you can still try.
Even though the truth is hard to hide,
You know you still want to love deep inside.
If your heart is still kept shut,
And there's nothing else you want to listen to.
Just know that no matter what,
Whatever happens I'll always be there for you.
Just reach out for me and call.
Even though I'm so far away,
I'll be there to catch you from the fall.
When you need a listening ear,
To share all your pain and sorrow.
Whether I'm far or near,
I'll make it a better tomorrow.
If you need to shed some tears,
Just know that I'm always near.
Whenever you're lonely,
I'll be there to make you happy.
Never say you want to die,
When you know you can still try.
Even though the truth is hard to hide,
You know you still want to love deep inside.
If your heart is still kept shut,
And there's nothing else you want to listen to.
Just know that no matter what,
Whatever happens I'll always be there for you.
Can't Stop Loving You
I felt it again.
Something which I thought I had lost forever.
In days of loneliness without it,
In place of it was pain.
No one could say that he has never,
Never experienced love.
The day I met you changed my life,
You made me feel so alive.
I wonder then how could I ever survive?
Without knowing you,
Knowing that you there for me whenever I was down.
You would always be around,
Around to cheer me up.
To be my sunshine,
One that I could never find.
Days have passed for me to realize,
That only you held the key to my buried heart.
I pray everynight that we would never be apart.
All I want to say to you is,
There would be no sunshine without the rain.
To stop loving you puts me in pain.
I Can't.
I love you.
Something which I thought I had lost forever.
In days of loneliness without it,
In place of it was pain.
No one could say that he has never,
Never experienced love.
The day I met you changed my life,
You made me feel so alive.
I wonder then how could I ever survive?
Without knowing you,
Knowing that you there for me whenever I was down.
You would always be around,
Around to cheer me up.
To be my sunshine,
One that I could never find.
Days have passed for me to realize,
That only you held the key to my buried heart.
I pray everynight that we would never be apart.
All I want to say to you is,
There would be no sunshine without the rain.
To stop loving you puts me in pain.
I Can't.
I love you.
A Wish Upon A Star
The stars are so bright tonight,
Perhaps I will forever remember this night.
When the stars are high above,
As though showering me with your love.
Can you see the fireflies' light?
Couples chasing each other in the air.
Their love for each other like the sun so bright.
But I wonder if you know I really care.
I closed my eyes and wished upon a shooting star.
That wherever you are,
I could be there whenever you needed someone,
And I would be your one and only one.
One star-Brighter than the others.
Two hearts-Beating for each other.
We are so close yet so far,
Can't you see we're under the same starry sky?
Whenever you need me just call out my name,
And I'll just do the same.
It doesn't matter now or later,
Coz I know I'll love you in my lifetime forever.
A Reflection In the Pool
I look into the lake and what do I see?
The lovely dreams we both shared,
The tender love we possessed.
Not a moment too lonely and sad,
While we braved the hardships we were led.
Your reflection suddenly shatters into ripples like my heart had,
The dream is over and the nightmare begins.
The dream is forgotten.
My heart is full of tears.
My mind is tortured beyond recognition.
My body is without a soul.
What else is left of me?
Only memories.
Memories of the love I no longer possess.
The lovely dreams we both shared,
The tender love we possessed.
Not a moment too lonely and sad,
While we braved the hardships we were led.
Your reflection suddenly shatters into ripples like my heart had,
The dream is over and the nightmare begins.
The dream is forgotten.
My heart is full of tears.
My mind is tortured beyond recognition.
My body is without a soul.
What else is left of me?
Only memories.
Memories of the love I no longer possess.
今天的太阳不一样
I wrote this essay as part of a chinese essay writing competition in secondary 3. Got 2nd prize for this. There's a second part to this essay which I wrote in the following year that nabbed me the 1st prize. If only I could find it....
上个月，她在电话中对:"我们分手吧!",这话像晴天霹震我的心。
上个月，她在电话中对:"我们分手吧!",这话像晴天霹震我的心。
我还记得我和她一次约会已经是一年前的了。还记得当时的我是多么地害怕和紧张，怕她觉得我不英俊而从此不理我。
紧张的我一见到她后，连一个字也说不出来。她实在太美了，有如天上的仙子一样。也许是一见钟情吧,从那天起，我和她那灿烂的爱情故事便开始了。
我们每天晚上都会打电话给对方，在电话里甜言蜜语。我和她的初吻是在戏院里，还记得那部戏就是浪漫悲惨的爱情故事<铁达尼号>。当时我们双眼望着对方，情不自禁地吻了对方。
现在想起来，总让我掉泪。当她说想跟我分手后,我不敢相信自己的耳朵,也希望自己是在做一场梦,一场恶梦。
但是，人总是要面对可恨的事实。我把自己锁在房里,不吃不喝,像个姑娘般地哭泣。我当时觉得下雨时的每一滴雨水宛如我的泪水从我的心里渗出。
我的心好痛,我的心整整两个星期被笼罩在那阴霾的雨中,一点太阳光也没有。我好想了结自己的生命，解除我一切的痛苦。
一天晚上，我梦到我死后的情景: 我的家人在棺木旁哭泣,哭得比我现在的情况还凄惨,而她,却跟她新找的幸福在一起度过人生。我看不下去。我醒了过来。
看了闹钟，清晨五点半，天还没亮。我决定为她写一首诗，以后就把她忘了。
<一场梦>
我望进湖里。
我们当时美丽的梦，
我们给对方温柔的爱。
从来不伤心或寂寞，
就这样走了一年。
你的面孔在湖面像我的心一样，碎了。
美梦已过，恶梦开始。
我们的梦已被遗忘，
我的心充满了泪，
被折磨得碎成片片，
我已不是我自己。
我只剩下... ...
剩下记忆
你我爱如潮水的记忆... ...
写完后，我掉了一滴眼泪。
天已亮了，我已经找到了新的自己。
First post....
Needed to find some space to put all my writing stuff. Was lazy to buy a webhosting and a domain name so decided on getting a free one. Early stuff will be all my previous works and those of some of my friends. (Yes...all stuff that we wrote in our Secondary school days.) Later on will slowly add newer stuff whenever I get the inspiration to do so.
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